How to Have a Minimalist Separation/Divorce….

You can’t.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. momcat
    Jul 24, 2011 @ 18:52:59

    Hi Kelly,

    Like Leo, I was curious about your two-word post so here I am!

    Ugh, divorce is never easy or simple. I went through it (after 26 years of marriage) in 2003. It was ugly. I have very little communication with my ex even though we have a 15 year-old son. He’s verbally abusive and terribly manipulative so I very minimal conversation (that’s the ‘minimal’ part of my divorce).

    Staying out of court is the best advice I could give anyone. Although this was not the route of my divorce (I filed for a restraining order) I believe that unless you’re dealing with an abusive spouse, out-of-court settlements are the cleanest, simplest and by far, least expensive way through this process.

    I am remarried to a wonderful man (3 years in June) and doing relationship very differently. I’m 56 years-old and heard all sorts of negative remarks about dating, etc. at my age. I didn’t listen to one single bit of it.

    It took time for me to step back from the emotion and look at things from a ‘business-like’ point of view but eventually I did and do. I learned SO much during this process. Not a great way to learn and grow but if you’re on board you may as well pay attention how to sail!

    All the best to you . . .

    BTW . . . I choked at your use of a blower to clean your fridge coils! My husband has a tree service business so I am intimately familiar with the tool you suggest. I’ve often joked with my husband about using the blower to dust and vacuum!

    Reply

    • mooving2minimalism
      Jul 24, 2011 @ 21:58:09

      Hey Momcat,
      Thanks for sharing some of your story through your comment! I totally agree about staying out of court if at all possible! I am praying that possibility becomes a reality for us, too!

      How wonderful that you found happiness after years of abuse! It’s proof that the human heart can heal from so much! I would love to know how your son feels about the situation. And your 3 -year milestone of marriage means you are beating the statistical odds, and you are experiencing the happiness you deserve. Good for you! Thanks for the encouragement to those of us who are still “in” it!

      Thanks for reading my post about cleaning the refrigerator, too ! Good idea on the dusting and vacuuming! I have never tried on anything indoors, except on the frig. One would have to have a pretty minimalist house with very few knicknacks about, but, I bet it would work!! If you ever get brave enough to try it, please report back!

      Thanks for visiting and hope to see you back here often!

      Reply

  2. Victoria - Ozarks Crescent Mural
    Jun 25, 2011 @ 17:29:26

    I’m sorry it’s not going minimalist for you, I really am. You can have a minimalist divorce, it’s possible, but with children involved and any not-so-good feelings from either side, it makes it very difficult to do so. The only minimalist divorce I’m aware of is when there’s no children, no assets, no stipulations, no bad feelings, total agreement, and just simple DIY papers you file yourself without lawyers. I wish that was what was happening for you.

    Reply

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